Post by Admin on May 16, 2024 11:33:07 GMT
i wanted to try sharing a bit more about my life.
Very hard to more openly share some things as i have in the past been around circles of criminality & i don't want to incriminate anyone.
i was born in 1973 in Southampton NHS General Hospital UK as one of a twin by caesarean section. My mother had had a hard time with the pregnancy & birth - my Father was a very difficult man - she divorced shorty after my brother & me were born & we never had any more physical contact.
We lived in a nice flat that was in a converted mansion house & had large grounds - a very large shared lawn & small wood.
It was in Hordle - a small village area in the Hampshire countryside.
We always had cats growing up, who i loved. My mum was very loving & kind.
Age 6 i had a bad accident - i fell around 20 foot from a tree & landed on my head - almost broke my neck. i had to wear a collar from 6 months. After this i suffered severe migraines for many years. i think it also caused a brain trauma.
i went to a private school from the age of 3 to 11 as a day student - i didn't really enjoy the school & i spent a lot of time at home & skiving off.
i used to enjoy building models, especially of WW2 Aeroplanes. My mother met another partner when i was around 6, who she stayed with all her life.
Age 7 i had a psychotic episode - the first of 8 major episodes with 4 hospitalisations. Vivid dreams & nightmares started at a young age as well.
Age 11 i was sent to a comprehensive school which i preferred. We also moved house during this time to a small village - Milford-on-Sea on the South Coast of the UK.
i used to argue & fight a lot with my brother & we shared a room.
Age 11 i first got very drunk & stoned on cannabis. By the age of 15 / 16 i was getting into a lot of drink & drug taking.
i left school & went to art college for 2 years, but wasn't very happy there - i felt very depressed & suicidal a lot of the time.
i will try & expand on some of these experiences later on in this thread.
After leaving college i just wanted to bum around & take drugs. Shortly after leaving college i suffered a major psychotic break - i was sectioned for 4 months in a high secure unit & very heavily medicated at the Old Manor psychiatric hospital in Sailsbury - they diagnosed me with a drug induced psychosis.
i was discharged from the hospital & shortly after all psychiatric services & went into work as a trainee Chef for 4 years, & studied catering at Lansdown college.
i managed to stay away from drink & drugs for a while but they crept back into my life.
Age 21 i went into another psychosis - i changed jobs & went to work in a pub, the rising sun in the New Forest area. i then quit work & engaged with NA meetings & got clean & sober for around 6 months. i was living in the Boscombe area at the time & ended up in a treatment centre. i again got very depressed & suicidal - i had a serious suicide attempt with drowning & was again hospitalised at the Old Manor Psychiatric Hospital. This time they diagnosed me with psychotic depression.
i then found a place in sheltered accommodation in Lymington - i lived there for a few years but again relapsed on drink / drugs & was evicted - i moved areas a few times - did a computer Graphics course at Totton college & worked as a Labourer on building sites. i again suffered a major psychotic episode & was again sectioned - this time they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia. i was now 25.
i was put on a very high dose of medication for a year - 1200mg Amisulpride - i stopped the medication after a year, went back into severe psychosis & was again sectioned.
i went back to heavy cannabis use - & age 28 was again very psychotic - i moved area & got clean & sober with the help of 12 step groups - & at the time of writing have been T-Total / sober for 23 years.
In the early days of recovery i stopped the medication again twice but each time went back into severe psychosis.
i eventually accepted the schizophrenia diagnosis & medication, & have seen the condition as dual diagnosis - addiction & schizophrenia.
In recovery i have moved area a lot of times in the Dorset / Hampshire areas.
i also did a few computer courses, helped renovate my mum's house & then helped to care for her through 10 years of her severe dementia.
i felt very effected by the 2008 financial crash - 14 years of the Tories / Austerity / Brexit as i have discussed on the forum.
i have suffered very severe anxiety over the past 12 years & have increased the antipsychotic medication twice. i am now on 600mg amisulpride.
i shall try & flesh out some of my story & some of the experiences of psychosis - it revolves around religious delusions, Aliens & Visions of Global Fascism & Global Catastrophic Ecological & Civilizational Collapse.
Thanks for reading.
Very hard to more openly share some things as i have in the past been around circles of criminality & i don't want to incriminate anyone.
i was born in 1973 in Southampton NHS General Hospital UK as one of a twin by caesarean section. My mother had had a hard time with the pregnancy & birth - my Father was a very difficult man - she divorced shorty after my brother & me were born & we never had any more physical contact.
We lived in a nice flat that was in a converted mansion house & had large grounds - a very large shared lawn & small wood.
It was in Hordle - a small village area in the Hampshire countryside.
We always had cats growing up, who i loved. My mum was very loving & kind.
Age 6 i had a bad accident - i fell around 20 foot from a tree & landed on my head - almost broke my neck. i had to wear a collar from 6 months. After this i suffered severe migraines for many years. i think it also caused a brain trauma.
i went to a private school from the age of 3 to 11 as a day student - i didn't really enjoy the school & i spent a lot of time at home & skiving off.
i used to enjoy building models, especially of WW2 Aeroplanes. My mother met another partner when i was around 6, who she stayed with all her life.
Age 7 i had a psychotic episode - the first of 8 major episodes with 4 hospitalisations. Vivid dreams & nightmares started at a young age as well.
Age 11 i was sent to a comprehensive school which i preferred. We also moved house during this time to a small village - Milford-on-Sea on the South Coast of the UK.
i used to argue & fight a lot with my brother & we shared a room.
Age 11 i first got very drunk & stoned on cannabis. By the age of 15 / 16 i was getting into a lot of drink & drug taking.
i left school & went to art college for 2 years, but wasn't very happy there - i felt very depressed & suicidal a lot of the time.
i will try & expand on some of these experiences later on in this thread.
After leaving college i just wanted to bum around & take drugs. Shortly after leaving college i suffered a major psychotic break - i was sectioned for 4 months in a high secure unit & very heavily medicated at the Old Manor psychiatric hospital in Sailsbury - they diagnosed me with a drug induced psychosis.
i was discharged from the hospital & shortly after all psychiatric services & went into work as a trainee Chef for 4 years, & studied catering at Lansdown college.
i managed to stay away from drink & drugs for a while but they crept back into my life.
Age 21 i went into another psychosis - i changed jobs & went to work in a pub, the rising sun in the New Forest area. i then quit work & engaged with NA meetings & got clean & sober for around 6 months. i was living in the Boscombe area at the time & ended up in a treatment centre. i again got very depressed & suicidal - i had a serious suicide attempt with drowning & was again hospitalised at the Old Manor Psychiatric Hospital. This time they diagnosed me with psychotic depression.
i then found a place in sheltered accommodation in Lymington - i lived there for a few years but again relapsed on drink / drugs & was evicted - i moved areas a few times - did a computer Graphics course at Totton college & worked as a Labourer on building sites. i again suffered a major psychotic episode & was again sectioned - this time they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia. i was now 25.
i was put on a very high dose of medication for a year - 1200mg Amisulpride - i stopped the medication after a year, went back into severe psychosis & was again sectioned.
i went back to heavy cannabis use - & age 28 was again very psychotic - i moved area & got clean & sober with the help of 12 step groups - & at the time of writing have been T-Total / sober for 23 years.
In the early days of recovery i stopped the medication again twice but each time went back into severe psychosis.
i eventually accepted the schizophrenia diagnosis & medication, & have seen the condition as dual diagnosis - addiction & schizophrenia.
In recovery i have moved area a lot of times in the Dorset / Hampshire areas.
i also did a few computer courses, helped renovate my mum's house & then helped to care for her through 10 years of her severe dementia.
i felt very effected by the 2008 financial crash - 14 years of the Tories / Austerity / Brexit as i have discussed on the forum.
i have suffered very severe anxiety over the past 12 years & have increased the antipsychotic medication twice. i am now on 600mg amisulpride.
i shall try & flesh out some of my story & some of the experiences of psychosis - it revolves around religious delusions, Aliens & Visions of Global Fascism & Global Catastrophic Ecological & Civilizational Collapse.
Thanks for reading.
