Post by Admin on Dec 7, 2023 21:36:20 GMT
How to get someone out of a cult – and what happens afterwards
Published: November 29, 2023 4.28pm GMT
theconversation.com/how-to-get-someone-out-of-a-cult-and-what-happens-afterwards-217697
No one ever sets out to join a cult.
At the beginning it looks like the group will meet some need or ideal. For most people it seems to work initially - at least somewhat.
A recent Netflix documentary showed the experiences of people in the Twin Flames Universe group, which offers online courses in finding your soulmate. For those who joined Twin Flames, it seemed that they were no longer alone. Former members say every aspect of their lives were controlled. A statement on the group’s website says these claims “distort” their “true aims and methods” and “misrepresent the autonomy of our community members.”
In general terms though, why do people leave high-demand religious groups (often called cults), and how can you help someone who’s stuck? The answer is always unique and depends on the context. Important factors to consider include the individual’s personal characteristics, the nature of the group and outside circumstances.
For some people, there is a gradual slipping away. The classic cult-like group encourages isolation from friends, family and even outside employment. But if someone does continue to engage with other activities and groups, these might reduce the appeal of an increasingly demanding group.
Some people experience a sudden change in thinking when the group crosses an ethical line or when the duplicity of a leader’s teaching and behaviour is realised. Sometimes a group of people leave together.
But, as the length and depth of involvement increases, leaving can become harder and harder. This is partially due to the “sunk costs” effect. If you spend your life savings on “training” and cut all your ties with your family, it becomes more difficult to start over.
Additionally, many people are both perpetrators and victims of the group’s harmful activities. Shame and social stigma does not make it any easier to leave.
So if you’re worried someone you know has joined a cult, what can you do to help?
Mind your language
Intervention from an outsider can help protect someone from being further indoctrinated, but it is important to be careful about the wording you use in conversations.
Research on people who left high demand groups has shown it can help to:
try to maintain positive contact
do not shame or belittle the person
be curious and do some research
ask questions about specific aspects of the group which might be concerning.
Do not tell a person who is excited about their involvement in a new group that you believe they have been brainwashed or are in a cult. At this time in person’s journey, using language about cults usually makes them feel divided from society.
Members are often warned that those outside the group cannot understand the convert’s experiences. Labelling the group as an evil cult can entrench such a belief.
Published: November 29, 2023 4.28pm GMT
theconversation.com/how-to-get-someone-out-of-a-cult-and-what-happens-afterwards-217697
No one ever sets out to join a cult.
At the beginning it looks like the group will meet some need or ideal. For most people it seems to work initially - at least somewhat.
A recent Netflix documentary showed the experiences of people in the Twin Flames Universe group, which offers online courses in finding your soulmate. For those who joined Twin Flames, it seemed that they were no longer alone. Former members say every aspect of their lives were controlled. A statement on the group’s website says these claims “distort” their “true aims and methods” and “misrepresent the autonomy of our community members.”
In general terms though, why do people leave high-demand religious groups (often called cults), and how can you help someone who’s stuck? The answer is always unique and depends on the context. Important factors to consider include the individual’s personal characteristics, the nature of the group and outside circumstances.
For some people, there is a gradual slipping away. The classic cult-like group encourages isolation from friends, family and even outside employment. But if someone does continue to engage with other activities and groups, these might reduce the appeal of an increasingly demanding group.
Some people experience a sudden change in thinking when the group crosses an ethical line or when the duplicity of a leader’s teaching and behaviour is realised. Sometimes a group of people leave together.
But, as the length and depth of involvement increases, leaving can become harder and harder. This is partially due to the “sunk costs” effect. If you spend your life savings on “training” and cut all your ties with your family, it becomes more difficult to start over.
Additionally, many people are both perpetrators and victims of the group’s harmful activities. Shame and social stigma does not make it any easier to leave.
So if you’re worried someone you know has joined a cult, what can you do to help?
Mind your language
Intervention from an outsider can help protect someone from being further indoctrinated, but it is important to be careful about the wording you use in conversations.
Research on people who left high demand groups has shown it can help to:
try to maintain positive contact
do not shame or belittle the person
be curious and do some research
ask questions about specific aspects of the group which might be concerning.
Do not tell a person who is excited about their involvement in a new group that you believe they have been brainwashed or are in a cult. At this time in person’s journey, using language about cults usually makes them feel divided from society.
Members are often warned that those outside the group cannot understand the convert’s experiences. Labelling the group as an evil cult can entrench such a belief.