Post by Admin on Jul 11, 2022 11:33:33 GMT
How Society Gaslights Survivors of Narcissistic, Sociopathic & Psychopathic Abuse
July 8, 2022
www.madinamerica.com/2022/07/society-gaslights-survivors-narcissistic-sociopathic-psychopathic-abuse/
From Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi: “As an author who writes for abuse survivors, I’ve communicated with thousands of people who have been affected by malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths as partners, friends, family members, co-workers, or even bosses. Throughout the course of my work, I’ve noticed a common theme: the societal invalidation and gaslighting of survivors.
This form of secondary gaslighting and invalidation is incredibly painful, especially when it comes from the very professionals, friends, and family members who are meant to help support the survivor on their healing journey. Not only does secondary gaslighting from other people further isolate the survivor, it actually hinders the healing process. I can’t tell you the number of times a survivor has reached out to me to tell me the retraumatizing effects of being invalidated by a friend, a family member, a spiritual leader, or even a therapist who dispensed ill-informed, sometimes even victim-blaming ideas.
. . . It’s important to learn the appropriate ways of communicating with survivors of malignant narcissists – those who lack empathy, who exploit others for their own gain, who abuse others chronically, and who lack remorse and conscience for their actions.
Here are common mistakes people make when communicating with survivors of this type of insidious violence:
1) Treating the abuse as a compatibility issue, a ‘bad break-up’ or minimizing the pathological behavior of the abuser by equating it to that of the garden-variety jerk.
2) Interrupting key features of the healing process by trying to get the survivor to heal quickly.
3) Depicting the victim as responsible for the actions of the abuser and failing to recognize the impact of the trauma bond.
4) Mistaking the abuser as well-intentioned and communicating this to the survivor, causing false hope and invalidation.
The Big Picture
Some abusers are more sadistic than others. Some lack empathy, while others also lack a conscience. If you want to help any survivor of psychological abuse by a malignant narcissist, you have to help them acknowledge the mindset of what it means to be a predator – not further gaslight them into believing that they are dealing with someone who possesses empathy or remorse. You have to extend empathy, compassion, and nonjudgment to the victim – not the abuser.
At the end of the day, all abusers have issues with their sense of entitlement, their need for control, and their stunning lack of empathy. Rather than focusing on the victim, it’s time for society to wake up to the abusive nature of their perpetrators.”
self-care-haven.com/2018/10/09/how-to-stop-gaslighting-survivors-of-narcissistic-abuse-a-guide-for-loved-ones-therapists-and-law-enforcement/
July 8, 2022
www.madinamerica.com/2022/07/society-gaslights-survivors-narcissistic-sociopathic-psychopathic-abuse/
From Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi: “As an author who writes for abuse survivors, I’ve communicated with thousands of people who have been affected by malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths as partners, friends, family members, co-workers, or even bosses. Throughout the course of my work, I’ve noticed a common theme: the societal invalidation and gaslighting of survivors.
This form of secondary gaslighting and invalidation is incredibly painful, especially when it comes from the very professionals, friends, and family members who are meant to help support the survivor on their healing journey. Not only does secondary gaslighting from other people further isolate the survivor, it actually hinders the healing process. I can’t tell you the number of times a survivor has reached out to me to tell me the retraumatizing effects of being invalidated by a friend, a family member, a spiritual leader, or even a therapist who dispensed ill-informed, sometimes even victim-blaming ideas.
. . . It’s important to learn the appropriate ways of communicating with survivors of malignant narcissists – those who lack empathy, who exploit others for their own gain, who abuse others chronically, and who lack remorse and conscience for their actions.
Here are common mistakes people make when communicating with survivors of this type of insidious violence:
1) Treating the abuse as a compatibility issue, a ‘bad break-up’ or minimizing the pathological behavior of the abuser by equating it to that of the garden-variety jerk.
2) Interrupting key features of the healing process by trying to get the survivor to heal quickly.
3) Depicting the victim as responsible for the actions of the abuser and failing to recognize the impact of the trauma bond.
4) Mistaking the abuser as well-intentioned and communicating this to the survivor, causing false hope and invalidation.
The Big Picture
Some abusers are more sadistic than others. Some lack empathy, while others also lack a conscience. If you want to help any survivor of psychological abuse by a malignant narcissist, you have to help them acknowledge the mindset of what it means to be a predator – not further gaslight them into believing that they are dealing with someone who possesses empathy or remorse. You have to extend empathy, compassion, and nonjudgment to the victim – not the abuser.
At the end of the day, all abusers have issues with their sense of entitlement, their need for control, and their stunning lack of empathy. Rather than focusing on the victim, it’s time for society to wake up to the abusive nature of their perpetrators.”
self-care-haven.com/2018/10/09/how-to-stop-gaslighting-survivors-of-narcissistic-abuse-a-guide-for-loved-ones-therapists-and-law-enforcement/